FAIRFAX, VA—After
receiving a letter sent to him by six-year-old Sarah Fulmer expressing anxiety
over tomorrow's sequestration deadline, President Barack Obama cut short a golf
outing and made a beeline for Bobby Jones Elementary School
in suburban Fairfax
to alleviate the tyke's fears.
"Let me be clear," President Obama told the
auditorium full of five-, six-, and seven-year-old students. "Like Sarah
said in her letter, sequestration is a big and scary word, but it doesn't have
to be. It's just that there are some meanies in Congress called Republicans who
don't want me to do whatever I want, like when your mommy tells you not to eat
so much candy or your big brother tells you he wants to watch a football game on
TV instead of your favorite cartoon. Now does that sound fair to you props, er,
kids?"
"No!" the children replied in unison.
"Very good!" said the president, smiling and
nodding. "Life would be so much easier for me if those mean Republicans
were more like you. In any event, it isn't just the Republicans who are being
mean. Believe it or not, some of your mommies and daddies are being mean to me
too."
When the children's gasps of amazement and occasional sobs
subsided, the president continued.
"It's true, kids. Some of your parents in this nice
little community don't want to give me more of their money. Kind of like when
they won't let you have that video game all your other friends have, or they
won't give you a few dollars for the ice cream man. Isn't that so unfair?"
"Yes!" the children agreed as one.
The president clapped his hands. "Good," he said.
"Now, when you get home, I want you all to repeat this little rhyme to
your parents. Tell them, 'Give Obama all of your cash, or he will make the
economy crash'."
"Give Obama all of your cash, or he will make the
economy crash!" the children's voices echoed throughout the auditorium.
