WASHINGTON, D.C.—Claiming that he's "doing his
part" to alleviate concerns over doctor shortages in California and other
states as his Affordable Care Act begins to take effect, President Barack
Obama announced today that he has filed an application to attend one of
Mexico's finest medical schools.
"Let me be claro," the president said, addressing
press from both the U.S. and
Mexico.
"I have applied at Universidad de Guadalupe with the goal of earning a doctoral
degree that will empower me to perform everything from a simple flu diagnosis
to a quadruple heart bypass. Although my application hasn't been officially
approved by the school, I'm confident it's a mere formality, and that I'll be
accepted."
When asked why he wasn't attending a medical school in the
States, Mr. Obama cited a convoluted paperwork mix-up involving his social
security card, birth certificate, law license, and college records.
"Rather than bother with the rigmarole and red tape
that accompanies the American college application process," President
Obama said, flashing his winning smile, "I thought it would be best for
the country if I cut right to the chase and started earning my M.D. south of
the border."
While the assembled reporters looked on, President Obama
received a phone call from Universidad de Guadalupe's dean of admissions. After
a few moments of chit-chat, Obama announced he'd been accepted, and the press
corps gave him a long standing ovation.
