Friday, February 22, 2013

Obama Suggests Changes to NHL Point System



WASHINGTON, D.C.—Giving the president a break from hot-button topics like sequestration and his disagreements with the Republican party, Reverend Al Sharpton changed the subject to sports during the latter part of his radio interview with Mr. Obama this afternoon, asking the president what he thought about the NHL's point system.

"Let me be clear," Obama said. "I didn't even know the NHL had resolved its labor dispute and started playing. That being said, I hope the oppressed party, be they players or owners, won.

"However, I must say that I am troubled by the point system currently in use by the league. A team earns two points for a victory, one point for an overtime loss, and no points for a conventional loss. This seems unfair to me. Although one point for an overtime loss—which was basically called a tie when I was younger—is empowering, I feel two points for victory and none for defeat is far from fair. The losing team tried just as hard as they could, and I believe they are entitled to a single point, which should be taken from the victorious team."

Reverend Sharpton agreed wholeheartedly with President Obama's proposal, then proceeded to take a call from a listener.

"Uh, hi, Reverend Al and President Obama," said Greg from Cleveland. "I hate to burst your bubble, but if you give teams one point each for a win, loss, or tie, every team will be tied at the end of the season. Who do you give the Stanley Cup to?"

"It's a simple solution, Greg," the president said. "Everyone gets a Stanley Cup. In fact, so do you for asking such a fine question."