WASHINGTON,
D.C.—Outgoing Secretary of State
Hillary Clinton and New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez were among four people
arrested at a Super 8 Motel off Interstate 395 early this morning following a
raucous retirement party in Mrs. Clinton's honor.
Clinton, who officially resigned her post on Friday and
handed the reins of her Cabinet position to John Kerry, appeared glassy-eyed
and disheveled in a booking photo taken an hour before husband Bill posted bail
at 8:03am.
"Aww, we were just havin' a li'l fun," the former
First Lady of the United States insisted as Bill and a squadron of secret
service agents led her to a waiting limousine. "Me and Bobby go way back.
Ha! That guy really knows how to par-tay!"
Mrs. Clinton explained that she and Sen. Menendez were
enjoying libations at Taft's Tub, a politically-themed bar and grill adjacent
to the motel.
"We was gettin' a little bored, so Bobby called a
couple chicks he knows," Mrs. Clinton said. "They were like Mexican
or Puerto Rican or somethin'. Anyway, the girls get there, but they don't have
no valid IDs, so me and Bobby and them take the party back to the Super
8."
In addition to public drunkenness, disturbing the peace, and
indecent exposure, the four were charged with destruction of private property.
"Some people ain't got no sense of humor," Mrs.
Clinton argued as her husband helped her into the limousine. "Throwin' a
mini-fridge through a window when it runs out of booze is funny! But I guess
the man don't think so."
After assuring his wife that Sen. Menendez and his
"nieces," as they were referred to as in the police report, had also
made bail, Bill urged Hillary to take a nap, then gently shut the limo door.
"I'm sorry about that, ya'll," Mr. Clinton said.
"Hill's a good woman, but sometimes she just goes out there and makes a
complete fool of herself on the national stage."
