DAYTON, OH—Toddler Jake Rothstein was expelled from the Tiny
Tykes Daycare Center on Lemon Street following an incident in which the
two-year-old fist-bumped his father, Lucas, as Lucas dropped the boy off before
work.
"What the hell?" Lucas Rothstein said, staring at
the pink expulsion slip handed to him by Tiny Tykes director Samantha King.
"Really?"
"Normally," Ms. King told reporters, "we don't frown
upon 'fist-bumping,' per se. In fact, we encourage such innocent playfulness
between father and son, as it is an integral part of the male-bonding process.
"However, Mr. Rothstein and his son followed their
display of love and affection with what is commonly called a 'blow-up.' After
the fist-bump, both father and son proceeded to quickly uncurl their fists,
while at the same time making sounds that simulated the types of explosions one
might hear during a war or possibly—God forbid—a mass-shooting at a local
daycare center.
"We simply can't tolerate that type of violent behavior
here at Tiny Tykes."
Mr. Rothstein disagreed with Ms. King's decision to expel
his son.
"Are you serious?" Rothstein asked, still gazing
uncomprehendingly at the piece of paper that would now force him and his wife,
Janice, to once again begin the long, arduous search for a daycare center that
meets both of their stringent standards.
"Really?"
