SOUTH BEACH, FL—Following a spirited round of golf with
Tiger Woods at the Floridian, a prestigious golf and yacht club on the state's
Treasure Coast, President Barack Obama accomplished a feat unseen since he took
office over four years ago; he presented Americans with a budget, then
proceeded to balance it.
"Let me be clear," the president said to Woods,
Houston Astros and Floridian owner Jim Crane, and former Dallas mayor Ron Kirk as they approached the
bar beyond the 18th green. "Michelle only gave me $100 to spend on drinks
and appetizers, so let's take it easy, okay guys?"
Mr. Woods didn't start things off easily for Mr. Obama,
immediately requesting double shots of Patrón all around. Mr. Crane added to
Obama's discomfort by ordering steak fajitas and twenty sushi rolls.
"I would've been fine with just a salad," Mr.
Obama said later. "But Jim's always pushing the envelope."
By the time their check arrived, President Obama was visibly
nervous. But, being the brave leader he is, he picked it up and turned it over.
"Not as bad as I thought it was going to be," Mr.
Obama said, smiling, to Woods and the others. "I had the Cosmo and the two
Appletinis, plus a little bit of the fajitas and sushi. With tip, Michelle's $100
more than covers it. Tiger had just the three Coors Lights and the waitress'
phone number. Jim and Kirk already have their cash out, so it looks like we're
all paying our fair share. Thank you, gentlemen."
When asked how the golf itself went, President Obama
replied, "I had my best game ever. I shot an 82.5."
When asked how that was possible, the president elaborated.
