INDIANAPOLIS, IN—In a disturbing development, Todd and Amy Harrison,
both 28 and recently relocated from Temecula,
California, discovered today that
the convenience store closest to their new home features inch-thick
bullet-resistant glass, presumably to protect the store's employees from armed
robberies.
"We took a break from unpacking and stopped by
Par-Tay-Time Grocery and Liquor for a half-gallon of skim milk," Todd said,
holding his wife's hand. "We thought they might even have sandwich fixings
so we could make ourselves a light lunch. Boy were we wrong."
Instead of a dozen shelves stocked with canned goods, junk
food, and travel-size personal hygiene products, the Harrisons
were greeted by four-hundred square feet of gray tile and a solitary ATM
machine.
"And the ATM machine was encased in some kind of iron
cage," Amy said. "Who does that?"
Behind the scratched and finger-printed glass, a plump,
forty-something woman smiled and waved in greeting.
"She was so sweet," Todd recalled. "Why the
hell would she work there?"
"The surrounding area doesn't even look too bad,"
Amy chimed in. "There's a sort of shady-looking apartment complex across
the road, but other than that, it's fine. We wouldn't have moved to the
neighborhood if we didn't feel safe."
Though their first instinct was to turn around and leave the
store, Amy insisted they buy something. After much loud conversation and
spirited pointing at the shelves full of booze behind the glass, the Harrisons
finalized their purchase of an $8 bottle of wine.
"The creepiest part of the transaction was that tiny,
bullet-proof, mini-revolving door thing between us and the cashier. You'd think
we were exchanging nitroglycerine and live grenades, not a debit card and a
bottle of Blue Nun."
When asked if they had any regrets about moving to the area,
Todd and Amy agreed they did not.
"I work in the nice part of town, up north," Todd
confided. "We'll just do our shopping there."
