ALEXANDRIA, VA—Following up on his successful use of
children to bring attention to the issue of gun control, President Obama today
met with an informal panel of pregnant women at a local "Mommy & Me"
prenatal center to talk about the economy.
"Let me be clear," President Obama said, holding
up an ultrasound image of one of the mothers' fetuses. "The exploitation,
er, utilization of children is what will keep this country great, going
forward."
"I've received many sage recommendations from nine- and
ten-year-olds over the past several weeks," Obama continued. "But I'm
here today to consult with a younger generation, one that isn't as jaded and
defeated as the young people I currently surround myself with."
President Obama approached Tamara Jenkins, a 27-year-old
pharmaceutical saleswoman expecting her first child late next month. Smiling,
Obama crouched before Tamara, placed his hand on her ample belly, and asked,
"So, little one. Do you think I should order another round of quantitative
easing? Kick once for yes, twice for no."
Seemingly satisfied with the answer, President Obama spoke
with a handful of other mothers before taking a seat beside Kaitlyn Phelps, 31,
and her daughter Amber, 3.
"I have a very important question for you, Amber,"
the president said as the girl twirled around in circles, clutching a doll to
her chest. "How much money do you think I can add to the deficit this
fiscal year without the Republicans threatening to impeach me?"
"This many!" Amber exclaimed, holding up three
fingers before falling to the floor in a fit of laughter.
"Thank you, dear," President Obama said, getting
to his feet. "Three trillion dollars it is."
