WASHINGTON,
D.C.—Citing a need to act quickly
to protect the nation's children, the House of Representatives today passed a
bill that would rid the country of scary-looking inanimate objects.
The news was music to the ears of Alison Gomez, 30, of Merced, California.
The mother of two young daughters was just one of millions of concerned parents
who signed a petition imploring Washington
to make the move.
"It was different when they were younger," Alison
said, wiping a tear from her eye. "I could protect them myself every day.
But now that they're in school..."
Alison was prompted to take action when her seven-year-old
daughter, Melody, came home from Orrenma
Elementary School late
last week crying her eyes out.
"I asked her what was wrong, but she was inconsolable.
She just kept saying, 'scary ladies, scary ladies,' over and over again."
When Melody finally calmed down, Alison coaxed the
identities of the "scary ladies" out of her.
"It turns out the students start the day by watching a
ten-minute news segment, and Dianne Feinstein and Nancy Pelosi have been on TV
so much lately talking about guns," Alison said, shaking her head.
"Don't they know the damage they're doing when they expose our innocent little
children to their faces?"
When asked if there was any way she'd let her daughters
watch the news segments at school again, Alison said, "Well, if they cut
the length of the news from ten minutes to seven, that might work."
In addition to Feinstein and Pelosi, other potentially-banned inanimate
objects include Andrew Cuomo, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, and Michael Moore.
