LA JOLLA,
CA—According to reports, a dog
sitting in the front passenger seat of a Volkswagen Jetta on Interstate 15
appears to be on the verge of suffering a heart attack.
"I mean, it's hard to tell for sure," witness
Amber Castro, 20, said when describing the plight of the pooch. "It was
one of those little tiny rat-dogs that are always shivering and stuff. So I'm
not sure if it was in mortal fear for its life, or if it was just being
normal."
"I'm in the same boat," said Dylan Trumbo, 19, Ms.
Castro's on-again, off-again beau. "The rat-dog's eyes were all bugging
out and I swear I could see clumps of hair just falling out of it and floating
onto the freeway, but I can't be a hundred-percent sure."
Ms. Castro added that the passenger-side window of the Jetta
appeared to be half-open, but she couldn't say for sure if the dog was jumping
toward the gap to get some fresh air or to splatter its itty-bitty body all
over the carpool lane.
"It's really hard to say. I mean, the girl driving the
car looked like a bitch, but that's just me. She looked all stuck up, plus she
was like smoking a cigarette, trying to eat french fries, and texting all at
the same time. If you ask me, the dog was probably better off jumping out the damn
window."
