INDIANAPOLIS, IN—Although White House officials long ago
accustomed themselves to Vice President Joe Biden's seemingly weekly gaffes,
even veteran staff members were stunned to learn that Mr. Biden had mistakenly
shown up at Indianapolis International Airport yesterday, literally half a
world away from his expected destination—New Delhi, India.
"Aw, man!" Mr. Biden said when informed of his
error. "They texted me to go to the capital of India, but I read it too fast and
ended up in the wrong damn place. Must've been distracted by that hot chick at
the ticket counter in D.C."
"Aw, man!" the vice president elaborated.
Baggage handler Rodney Emerson encountered the disoriented
Biden in Concourse B, alternating between staring blankly at his boarding pass,
then staring blankly at the "Arrivals" monitor.
"Dude looked like the Vice President of Lost-as-Hell,
so I took pity on him and steered him to the nearest bar," Mr. Emerson
said, smiling and shaking his head. "Once he got a Natty Light in him and
relaxed a bit, I explained to him exactly where he went wrong."
"It took a minute for me to get what Rodney was
saying," Biden said, "but then the ol' light bulb in the attic went
on. Turns out the next flight that would get me to Indi-A wasn't leaving for another twelve hours. Luckily, Rodney was just
getting off his shift, so he showed me around town a little."
"It was actually pretty cool," Mr. Emerson said.
"Joe said he was supposed to see Indians play cricket, so I took him to
Victory Field to watch the Indianapolis Indians play good ol' American baseball.
Then he was going on and on about that hot curry stuff they have in India,
so I took him to Skyline Chili. Close enough, right? When he started talking
about sacred cows, I just took him seven miles outside downtown and
showed him some damn cows on a farm. Three-for-three, baby."
