SACRAMENTO, CA—In
a 53-25 vote that went purely along party lines, the California State Assembly
today passed a bill that would change the name of the state capital from Sacramento to Sanctuary
City.
"For a long time now, many of my fellow Democrats in
the Assembly have been torn by the name 'Sacramento',"
said Assembly Speaker John Perez. "Of course, we love the diversity factor
of Sacramento's
etymological origins. However, it is upsetting to us that the capital of the
most socially progressive state in the nation has extremely religious
connotations."
Sacramento,
for the uninitiated, is the Spanish word for sacrament.
Lieutenant Governor and State Senate President Gavin Newsom
hinted that the bill has a good chance of being passed by members of California's upper
house.
"Frankly, it's all but a done deal," Newsom told
reporters outside his office. "Democrats have a 27 to 11 majority in the
State Senate, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the bill will pass
27 to 11. That's just the way things work in California these days.
"But, as usual, California
is leading the way in scrubbing the offensive parts of human history from the
books in order to create a new, more perfect union. The word Sacramento is very exclusive, and it offends
many people who don't subscribe to religiosity. Sanctuary City
is a much more apt name. It reflects the way the vast majority of Californians
feel today, as well as the way the rest of the country will feel when it finally
catches up with us," Newsom explained. "The word 'sanctuary,' as we all know, exudes inclusion and positivity."
