WASHINGTON,
D.C.—Slowly but surely,
temperatures in the D.C. area are creeping higher. Soon spring will shove
winter's chill away and the cherry blossoms will be in full bloom. With that in
mind, the White House announced today that the media's cheerleader uniforms
will be fully revamped for the upcoming political season.
"We're going with something completely different for
President Obama's historic second term," lead designer Greg LaVerne said
from a makeshift stage in the Rose Garden. "More color, more sass, more oompf!"
As bass-heavy club music thumped in the background, Mr.
LaVerne introduced the models and their stunning new ensembles.
"Ms. Maddow is wearing what I like to call the road
uniform," Mr. LaVerne said. "You'll notice the top is lower-cut than
it was last year, and the skirt is frillier and more feminine. And doesn't the
new red-and-yellow motif just pop?
"Next we have Chris Matthews," LaVerne said as Mr.
Matthews strutted onto the stage. "Chris is wearing the home uniform, as
you can plainly see. The Obama logo is prominent on the front of the tank top.
Between the logo and Chris' midriff, you'll be delighted to see the word
'Forward' stitched in a gorgeous flowing script.
