WASHINGTON,
D.C.—In a vote split purely upon
party lines, President Barack Obama's follow-up to Obamacare today sailed
through the Senate on its way to the House next week.
"Call it whatever you want," a flustered-looking
John Boehner said during a smoke break on the Capitol steps. "S.R. 3247,
the AWARD [A Warrantied America
Rewards Drivers] Act, Obautocare. By any name, it's just another nail in the
coffin of this nation's economy."
Despite the rocky launch of Obamacare earlier this month,
President Obama insisted upon pushing Obautocare legislation through Congress
as soon as possible.
"Let me be clear," the president said, sporting
grease-stained overalls and wielding a large crescent wrench. "Other than
housing and healthcare, vehicle maintenance takes the biggest chunk out of the
average working American's paycheck."
Mr. Obama took a moment to explain the concepts of
"working" and "paycheck" to his audience before continuing.
"Therefore, to ease the pain of the middle class, and
to ensure they have the means to travel to work and pay tribute, er, put food
on their families' tables, I've proposed a law that would make all those fears
of sputtering engines and rattling undercarriages a thing of the past.
"For a nominal fee," the president said,
"I'll ensure that your vehicle, no matter its age or condition, will be
taken care of in its time of need. Of course, you can keep your current
mechanic, and I guarantee the cost of his services will drop by at least fifty
percent."
